


Egg

by Dabethan



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 05:41:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21192491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dabethan/pseuds/Dabethan
Summary: No one has taught Dirk how to make eggs.





	Egg

Sometime in the distant past, four friends exist inside a humble kitchen that has yet to expand as part of the magnificent mansion it will someday become. Two friends are chatting around a small breakfast table, while another one is leaned against the sink, watching their host as she runs around in a hurried cooking frenzy.

She closes the oven, and suddenly whips around to address Dirk.

JANE: Could you please get the eggs ready, dear? I need to use the ladies room. Thank you!

Jane rushes off without actually waiting for an answer, and Dirk tries to keep himself looking composed. After a moment, he clears his throat and responds, despite her not even being in the room.

DIRK: I- uh. Ok. Yes. I know how to do that.  
ROXY: haha y do u look so panicked  
DIRK:  
ROXY: ...  
ROXY: dirk why do you look so panicked

Dirk walks over to the egg carton on the counter, and flexes his hand.

DIRK: I don't. What am I supposed to do?  
JAKE: You...  
JAKE: Crack the egg? Into the pan?  
DIRK: Oh my god, what?  
ROXY: who taught you to make eggs

No one has taught Dirk how to make eggs.

DIRK: No, shut up I can do this!  
JAKE: Are you crying???  
DIRK: No!

He's not. Yet.

Dirk takes a deep breath, and opens the carton. Carefully picking up an egg, he tries to envision any food tutorial he has ever seen for eggs. He has a dry mouth, a sweaty egg hand, and a surprisingly empty head.

Dirk suddenly slams the egg into a skillet that is turned off.

ROXY: ...  
JAKE: ...  
DIRK: ...  
JANE: HOO DON'T GO IN THE BATHROOM FOR A WHILE LMAO! Dirk are you crying?


End file.
